Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

Late-night's prominent entertainers devoted the broadcast ridiculing President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play scheme for the wealthy.

Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic holiday jingle directed at the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... ruins everything he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the new plan that enables international individuals to purchase U.S. residency for an investment of $1 million dollars, with a "platinum" option for five million. A government page guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"One message here to wealthy foreigners: before you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "squeeze cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, with large costs. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Economic Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining poll ratings during economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of food items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.